The Silent Message Your Team Is Reading
Your Body Speaks Before You Do
Before you say a word, your body has already sent a message to the person in front of you and recently in a coaching session, a manager reflected that her body language definitely escalated the confrontation with a member.
A good reminder for all of us, whether speaking with members or team members, here is your cheat sheet for checking your body language:
1. Warm & Comforting
- Smile genuinely — people feel it immediately.
- Maintain soft eye contact — not staring, just present.
- Keep your hands visible and open — it signals safety and trust.
- Lean in slightly when listening.
People don’t care how much you know until they know you care, shown by your body language.
2. Escalating Confrontation
- Crossed arms can feel defensive or closed off.
- Pointing fingers often feels like blame.
- Hard staring or rolling your eyes adds fuel to the fire.
- Hands on hips can come across as challenging or intimidating.
The fastest way to win an argument is often to stop looking like you’re having one.
3. Showing Confidence
- Stand tall with relaxed shoulders.
- Keep steady eye contact.
- Use calm, deliberate hand movements.
- Smile occasionally — confidence doesn’t have to look serious.
The most confident people in the room rarely need to prove they’re confident, you see it in them.
Your Challenge:
Before starting a meeting or a conversation, pause and self-check your body language so it matches the outcome you want.
Many times the conversation is won or lost before the first word leaves your mouth.
Justin is the Managing Director of Active Management, which he began January 2004. He offers coaching to businesses worldwide in everything from start up and design to marketing and sales systems. Justin also facilitates four Australian and New Zealand ‘fitness industry roundtables’ events, which allows him to see a huge cross section of business models.